colorcoordination.

mayra you will appreciate this post...people need to learn how to match. it really annoys me when people don't match. actually sometimes i don't care. what reaaally annoys me is when people wear like ten different colors in one outfit. and then it's colors that should not all be together. since today was the first day back since break, i feel like everyone went spring shopping and wore new clothes. but that seems so high school so maybe not. i probably only think that because i saw new people considering i had new classes and such. anyway, my point is that throughout the day i saw at least like five people wearing ridiculous outfits. i obviously don't say anything, but in my head and i'm like, UHNO. ok so like one girl i saw was wearing a jean skirt, grey leggings, black flatz, a brown/yellow patterned shirt, and a lime green hoodie. 1. who fucking wears jean skirts still? 2. who fucking wears jean skirts with leggings? 3. who said wearing ugly patterns was ok? 4. why make an already bad outfit worse by wearing a green sweater? 5. who fucking wears jean skirts still!?!? WITH LEGGINGS?! that's just fail. like, i had to look away but at the same time i couldn't stop staring. now her image is stuck in my head and i can't even think of the other people i saw. sometimes i look at myself, and i'm like, i hope no one thinks this is a bad outfit. and when there's even a hint of something not right, i have to change. that's why i hate dressing up because it's just too goddamn difficult to match and not look like complete shit. everyone should just live in jeans and tshirts. except samantha. i never wanna see her in jeans. ever. it wouldn't be right. anyway, like i was saying. i wouldn't be so upset about how people dress if they could just keep their outfit to a minimum amount of colors. like...three. and if they didn't wear jean fucking skirts with damn leggings. i just remembered i saw a girl wearing ratty jean shorts black uggs and a brown shirt. i hahahahahaaaaaaaateeeee that. first of all, uggs aren't attractive whatsoever. second of all, brown and black are ugly together unless you're rihanna or samantha (you bitch you can wear anything). third, why the fuck would someone wear uggs in this weather?! it's not cold. obviously because you're wearing hoochie jean torn up shortz. NO. i'm so done.

springbreak.

break was...fantastic. i got to see everyone i lovelovelove and then some.

my life consisted of: deep sleep. bed. pillow. mayra's bed. mayra. baby. edgar. baby jokes. baby dancing. baby waving. baby head-butting. puppyz. samantha. alex. derek. kyle. david. andrew. sessions. medical. ediblez. more sleep. cuddlez. fast food. good food. home-cooked food. mexican food. alcohol. old friends. new friends. lightshows. drugs. music. dancing. more sleep. baby talk. more jokes. laugh attackz. ice cream. missionz. mayra's car. alex's car. derek's car. david's car. amanda's car. garages. outdoorz. sun. moon. more sleep. hugz and kisses and love all around. best friends good friends just friends. sister. comfyz. disneyland. rock candy. churro. boyfriendboyfriendboyfriend. sleep. bowling. babymama. babywhile. rubbing the belly for luck. stolen shoez. family dinner. fresh coffee. cash moneyz. late nightz. nap timez. harry potter. star warz. the office. living room. ice cream. samantha. mayra. secretz.

i'm sure there's more to it but i'm too tired to think. this spring break was pretty much exactly what i needed. lovez my life.

love of my goddamn life.

"i am every song. every word every note every guitar solo every chorus every breakdown every chord"

samantha mariah hemphill.

celluar.

my phone hatez me. it literallly hatez me. it is actually TAUNTING me right now. at this moment. i've had this particular phone for like...idk three months ish? and it's already being an asshole. LOOK AT IT! it's fucking with me right now still. anyway, so my phone decided to hate me and stop charging correctly. i mean maaaaybe it was a little bit of my fault, but does it really have to stop working after three months? THREE?! i have a theory that it's because it's green. i don't know what the color has to do with it but it does. and green is totally not a lucky color if you aren't irish. which i am not. so green has failed me. it's really upsetting because i love my phone. it takes care of me in a way. we have a relationship. it helps me be connected with all the people i love who are so far away from me. and then. aaaaaaall of a sudden, its like "oh ihy. i don't wanna charge and die in the middle of your important texts and late night conversationz." and i'm like, really? really?! :| i've had this problem already and i thought we had worked passed it and moved onto better thingz. but i guess i was wrong. deadazzwrong. because my phone will be plugged in all damn night and i unplug it to go to a stupid final presentation and in a couple of hours it has one bar. ONE BAR. i'm so upset. and nowwwwww, i'm sitting here. trying to charge it. and it's being a fucking asshole. when it's charging the little red lights go on. and all i see with my damn peripheral vision is blinking red lights. blinking is not good! blinking means it's charging, it's not charging, it's charging, it's not charging. it's so annoying! and i swear it's so upsetting that i fucking talked to my phone. i straight up had a delusional moment and told it "please charge for me. it's very important because i need you to be working all day and not just die at any given moment. stop hating me and charge." and i plugged it in, and guess what. it didn't listen to me. or it did and it just doesn't give a shit about my feelingz. so fuck you green lg rumor. i hope you DO die so i can send you to the sprint trash bin and get a new phone to replace you. and i hope it's one that you hate so i can love it more and you can be in phone heaven crying about it. you'll miss me i swear. and i won't care just like you don't care about charging! ugh, i even that said under my breath hoping it'd hear me and change it's mind. i think it might have. cuz now it's charging....phones are so complicated....don't tell the phone but i'm still getting a new one. whether it charges or not.

sigh. i'm sad i just wrote about my phone like it knew me. actually i take it back. that was entertaining and it let me vent about how annoyed i was with it. good day.

dhall.

i went to the dining hall earlier and like every other time i go nothing looks good to me so i automatically go make myself a tuna sandwich. yesterday, i made one and didn't eat it because it tasted TOO fishy. today i made one and forgot to put tomato in it and didn't realize it til i was like half way through. ugh. i live off tuna sandwiches and it's so sad. i hate tuna. when the fuck did i ever like tuna? aaall of a sudden it's all i can fucking eat. tuna. fries. and cucumbers. everyday. once a day. without fail. the only thing good about the dining hall is the friez. and ice cream. mmm ice cream. i want some now...oh and the browniez! i have one sitting on my desk waiting for me to gobble it up. i wish i had a coca-cola to go with it. if i had change i'd go downstairs and buy a pepsi. but i kinda hate pepsi so maybe i wouldn't. tsktsktsk. sigh. i don't know. my blogging skillz are not in sync with me today. my day has been so uninteresting. k my life just got interesting. change of subject in one post. ready? k here it goes.

lsgbutterfly: like you tug it off

lsgbutterfly: you dont remove it slowly

Jeanette Trinidad: no cuz last time i thats what i figured it was. like me being all rowdy with it.

Jeanette Trinidad: but sometimes i did put it in the dark and kinda had to poke around

Jeanette Trinidad: hahah

lsgbutterfly: thats what HE said!!

lsgbutterfly: bwahahahahaha

Jeanette Trinidad: hahahahahha NICE

wow i fucking love her.

wow.

i just had a moment with myself. like a MOMENT. you know? i usually have moments with other people where you feel an epic burst of emotion and you let out a sigh of relief and it just feels so good to be a part of their life. i had one with mayra on saturday (did you feel it?!) when i surprised her and we hugged for a quick second. it was super aw. and i have these moments with samantha all the time. and with derek. and i just had one with myself. it was so weird but so amazing. for that moment, i felt absolutely perfect. and right now i'm really happy that i had that moment. my life made sense. everything was right. and it was pretty much the best feeling ever. i had got out of class early so i walked to this spot on a hill and just sat there alone watching the sunset while listening to cocorosie on my ipod. and i'm sitting there and i start thinking about everything and everyone in my life. and then i had a sad nostalgic moment but quickly realized not to be sad about things like that because there are just some things you can't control or change. so then i got up to walk back to my room and i was like, man a cigarette would be fun right now. and literally right after i had that thought a girl stopped in front of me to light one. so i asked her for one and she gave me one, and it was a 27. and in my head i kept getting happier and happier because i was having good luck with this little personal rendezvous. so i walked down a seperate path and sat on a railing facing the trees and ocean and sunset and it was so beautiful. and everything surrounding me was just so close. or something idk. it was just simple and nice to be around. and sitting there smoking the cigarette watching the sunset listening to werewolf i realized how amazing my life is. how amazing it HAS been. how everything that i worry about doesn't even matter because it's so unimportant to be getting worked about. because in reality what matters in life is the people you surround yourself. its how you interact with them and how you show you care. and i feel that i sometimes don't do enough to show the people closest to me just how much they mean to me. but i figured that if they didn't know, they wouldn't be so fucking good to me. and it was like a moment where i was like, shit. i fucking LOVE these people. i almost can't live without them so going home to them is just amazing. i can't say i'm sure how i ended up stumbling across this thought in my head. but it was there and tapping into it made me feel better about myself. maybe it was all the alcohol and drugs i've been doing. maybe it's the fact that i was just home without really knowing i would be home. maybe it's the fact that mayra's pregnant and i think about that a lot and how it's like double love for her now. maybe it's the fact that each time i see samantha i feel more like a sister than just a friend because we're really just THAT close. maybe it's the fact that i have a boyfriend who has been so charming and good to me and i absolutely love him. maybe it's the fact that i live a seperate life from alex but when we're together we still live the same life. maybe it's the fact that the people i didn't think i'd ever be close to i see like little brotherz and best friends. maybe it's the fact that music makes my mind open up. maybe it's the fact that sometimes you just need to sit alone and think. maybe it's everything just coming together tonight at this particular sunset. whatever the reason, in that small space of time, i changed. i felt myself change. i felt myself realize something and i felt it change me. i felt it all at once like a blow to my fucking soul. i'm so complete right now.

ketchup.

catch-up! get it? hahaha tomato! pulp fiction? anyone? yahman.

so i was home this weekend and attended what was theeee most ridiculous party ever. or maybe iii was just really ridiculous? yah i think that's it. homieshit FUCKYESSLA tore my shit up.

let my ramble begin: i got there saturday. i surprised mayra. i picked up some stuff from home. i went to samantha's house. i got ready. i didn't wear a bra and it was so weird. but alex and samantha were like ooohnomnom and shit. lolz. and then we went to cvs where alex bought a bottle of jack daniels and a pack of cigarettes. like true party goers. then we got to the glasshouse where we met up with derek and kyle and smoked a bowl or two. idk but samantha and me were getting impatient and really just wanted to drink so us 2 and alex went back to the car to do that. then we saw a cop pass by so we jumped outta the car like if he had just got there are were gonna smoke a cig. and then we drank more. and then we went inside and i was already drunk so my memories kinda faded in and out at this point. i remember seeing everyone. kyle jenni daniel topher this girl i went to bp with and like 50729052 other people. and i remember going backstage with alex for a quick second but of course there was cesar+alex drama so we left and then...idk. i was basically with samantha the whole night and alex ran off backstage and onstage with karla. so it all worked out rather well. somewhere in that night i went back to the car with sam and derek and kyle a few times and we pretty much finished the bottle of jack daniels. i was borderline belligerent. but i was high so that may have chilled me out. after that...i'm really completely not sure. i just looked at the pictures today and i don't remember any of them. i don't remember how i managed to take so many with so many different people. i don't remember getting into other people's WITH ryan's camera nonetheless. idkidkidk. i had this goal to be trashed and i was SO trashed. i don't remember when we left. i don't remember buying more soda and cigarettes. i don't remember what time we got home. i don't remember how i started drinking MORE once we were home. i don't remember the last drink i took. i don't knowwwwwwww. i woke up drunk for my late breakfast with mayra. she laughed at me. and i don't even know. i use that phrase a lot describing that night. because that's all i can really say.

best night EVER. amirite? yahman.

loves it being logged in

hehehez.
i love you jeanie weenie.

random revelation.

i was in the dining hall this morning after class, so like right now before this, and i had the funniest revelation.

so in the dining hall, they always have music playing and in the morning, it's ALWAYS in spanish.

and i always know the song playing. and they usually remind me of my mom.

anyway, today's song reminded me of another song.

and then i was like, oh shit. totally the same song.

except one's in english and one's in spanish.

here they are:

that's crazy! bwahahahaha.
and it turns out that shania twain's song came first (1997) and then rogelio martinez's did (2004).
and yes i checked the dates because i am THAT interested.
anyway, that's my morning revelation and i hope you enjoyed that...
even though you don't all know spanish.
lolzbai.

potpourri blog.

this is going to be kind of long because i have a lot of ideas for some reason, k.

so i've been on a banana binge these last few days for some reason. it's really weird. since sunday i've had like six bananas. including the one i'm eating right now. hahaha. nomnom. then i wondered if it had to do with the fact i want a banana tattoo, but i haven't been thinking of that lately. i just got the sudden urge to eat a banana and they've been so good that i keep eating them. i told carrie and she said that something's wrong with me. she's on acid though so whatever. and the best part is eating this banana with a coke from mexico. in a glass bottle. that i had to open with a knife. mmmmmmm platasi. you get it!?! only mayra and derek will really get it. anyway next subject...i rediscovered my love for art/museums yesterday because i was looking at random ass shit online and somehow ended up being sad that i haven't been to my dad's work in...forever. i was seriously against that place for the longest time cuz i've been there like a million fucking times. but now i wanna go. so spring break? we're going. and by we i mean everyone. i don't care actually. as long as i go i'll be happy. it's like i'm retarded for having a dad who works at the getty museum and i don't wanna go. :| and you know it's not like it's the same thing everytime. i feel like i need to dedicate myself into going more often and just sit there and stare at something. i should go on acid! that would be insane actually so nevermind. i haven't even been to the getty villa! and that disappoints me now. i just never wanted to go with my family cuz they're so boring sometimes. not you mayra, you're cool. the point is, it's something that i've appreciated for a longlong time. and it's not only because my dad has worked there for ten damn years. it's because it's the first really interesting thing i learned in elementary.which leads me to my next subject, GATE. i bonded with samantha via text for a little bit over this. GATE was this kick ass program i started in third grade and kept doing until ninth grade. actually i still did it ninth grade. anyway, it was the Gifted And Talented Education program. and basically all the kids with brain power got to leave school in the middle of the day and go to another school and learn about random ass relevant to life shit. like one year it was all art where we learned about monet and renoir and van gogh and degas and kahlo. and learning about space and color and strokes and canvas. and one year it was all architecture about buildings and bridges. and one year it was all crime solving. it was so cool! and i fucking loved going to it. during winter break i was looking through all my old papers in a filing cabinet my dad has, and i found a bunch of GATE folders. everything we did was so creative and shit that it made me sad i don't do things like that now. we got to play with flubber stuff once. actually it was oobleck. from dr. seuss. you know? that green stuff and it's all sticky and crazy. anyway, we had to build a spaceship model out of limited certain supplies and it had to be able to land on the oobleck and stay floating for like 30 seconds or something. and my partner was yen! idk how i remembered that right now. anywho, you basically had to figure out that it couldn't be too heavy so it should have lots of parts. and that it had to have flat stand things because a stick would just be swallowed. and that aluminum didn't stick to it as much as paper. it was genius. and ours totallyyyy floated and we passed and we were awesome. and one time we had to build a suspended bridge that would hold hot wheels. the more cars it could hold the better. and one time there was a "murder" and we had to figure out who done it. kinda like clue but not as cheesy. in all, GATE was probably one of the best experiences of my childhood. even though a lot saw me as some lame skinny girl i was still happy to be better than everyone. because i was better than half the student population. i take that back, i still am better.

dreaming.

i tried to find a picture of someone actuallyyy dreaming, but i didn't like any so i gave up and used this one. anyway, i had theeeeeee craziest dream EVAR.

so im sleeping and i heard someone knock, idk if that actually happened or not, so then i didnt open the door or anything i sorta just fell back to sleep and then i heard someone come in and i was like "..." so i opened my eyes a little and i saw someone at the foot of my bed and i started like breathing really heavily and then they started walking like to the side of my bed and standing like by the desk and i was like oh shit wtf. and then they started getting really close to my face, so i like turned and like threw my arm out to hit them and when i did that the person disappeared!

it was really really weird. and moreso because i'm convinced i was awake or something. lucid dreaming? I D K. I D K. I D K. then! i told derek and he questioned me and was like, how can someone disappear crazy. and i said, they're a ghost? and he was like NO. and i said maybe! and no. he shot my idea down. :( and then i told my friend about it, and she was like dude maybe it was a ghost. see! I KNEW IT. and i JUST confirmed with alex that it was totally a ghost. i'm seeing ghosts. in my dorm. anyway, it was crazy and creepy and i don't know what to think of it. that's my story the end!

lurking dance picturez.

best pictures ever.

i love hoodratz too! and you know there's like a billion at dance.

and bwahaha, cutest couple alert.

that's all i have to say about last weeks dance...

idk.

i'm sad because i don't have anything really cool or interesting to blog about today about this weekend. my life is so uninteresting all of a sudden and that sucks because i like being the crazy girl with the cool stories. :[ but not crazy insane. crazy as in um....colorful? i don't know. whatever man. this weekend i realized i still really hate beer but i'd rather drink that than nothing. how sad. i also realized that my life is actually really boring here and all my favorite people are in bolen. how sad. i also realized that when i'm under the influence i get nostalgic and that's happy AND sad. i'm a sad sad girl. but not :'( sad. more like :| sad. lame sad? i don't know...ummmmmmmmm. my hair is long? fuck this blog. i sound retarded today. i am so done.

the only thing good about this post is that picture. i'm so disappointed in my blogging abilities today.