celluar.

my phone hatez me. it literallly hatez me. it is actually TAUNTING me right now. at this moment. i've had this particular phone for like...idk three months ish? and it's already being an asshole. LOOK AT IT! it's fucking with me right now still. anyway, so my phone decided to hate me and stop charging correctly. i mean maaaaybe it was a little bit of my fault, but does it really have to stop working after three months? THREE?! i have a theory that it's because it's green. i don't know what the color has to do with it but it does. and green is totally not a lucky color if you aren't irish. which i am not. so green has failed me. it's really upsetting because i love my phone. it takes care of me in a way. we have a relationship. it helps me be connected with all the people i love who are so far away from me. and then. aaaaaaall of a sudden, its like "oh ihy. i don't wanna charge and die in the middle of your important texts and late night conversationz." and i'm like, really? really?! :| i've had this problem already and i thought we had worked passed it and moved onto better thingz. but i guess i was wrong. deadazzwrong. because my phone will be plugged in all damn night and i unplug it to go to a stupid final presentation and in a couple of hours it has one bar. ONE BAR. i'm so upset. and nowwwwww, i'm sitting here. trying to charge it. and it's being a fucking asshole. when it's charging the little red lights go on. and all i see with my damn peripheral vision is blinking red lights. blinking is not good! blinking means it's charging, it's not charging, it's charging, it's not charging. it's so annoying! and i swear it's so upsetting that i fucking talked to my phone. i straight up had a delusional moment and told it "please charge for me. it's very important because i need you to be working all day and not just die at any given moment. stop hating me and charge." and i plugged it in, and guess what. it didn't listen to me. or it did and it just doesn't give a shit about my feelingz. so fuck you green lg rumor. i hope you DO die so i can send you to the sprint trash bin and get a new phone to replace you. and i hope it's one that you hate so i can love it more and you can be in phone heaven crying about it. you'll miss me i swear. and i won't care just like you don't care about charging! ugh, i even that said under my breath hoping it'd hear me and change it's mind. i think it might have. cuz now it's charging....phones are so complicated....don't tell the phone but i'm still getting a new one. whether it charges or not.

sigh. i'm sad i just wrote about my phone like it knew me. actually i take it back. that was entertaining and it let me vent about how annoyed i was with it. good day.

dhall.

i went to the dining hall earlier and like every other time i go nothing looks good to me so i automatically go make myself a tuna sandwich. yesterday, i made one and didn't eat it because it tasted TOO fishy. today i made one and forgot to put tomato in it and didn't realize it til i was like half way through. ugh. i live off tuna sandwiches and it's so sad. i hate tuna. when the fuck did i ever like tuna? aaall of a sudden it's all i can fucking eat. tuna. fries. and cucumbers. everyday. once a day. without fail. the only thing good about the dining hall is the friez. and ice cream. mmm ice cream. i want some now...oh and the browniez! i have one sitting on my desk waiting for me to gobble it up. i wish i had a coca-cola to go with it. if i had change i'd go downstairs and buy a pepsi. but i kinda hate pepsi so maybe i wouldn't. tsktsktsk. sigh. i don't know. my blogging skillz are not in sync with me today. my day has been so uninteresting. k my life just got interesting. change of subject in one post. ready? k here it goes.

lsgbutterfly: like you tug it off

lsgbutterfly: you dont remove it slowly

Jeanette Trinidad: no cuz last time i thats what i figured it was. like me being all rowdy with it.

Jeanette Trinidad: but sometimes i did put it in the dark and kinda had to poke around

Jeanette Trinidad: hahah

lsgbutterfly: thats what HE said!!

lsgbutterfly: bwahahahahaha

Jeanette Trinidad: hahahahahha NICE

wow i fucking love her.

wow.

i just had a moment with myself. like a MOMENT. you know? i usually have moments with other people where you feel an epic burst of emotion and you let out a sigh of relief and it just feels so good to be a part of their life. i had one with mayra on saturday (did you feel it?!) when i surprised her and we hugged for a quick second. it was super aw. and i have these moments with samantha all the time. and with derek. and i just had one with myself. it was so weird but so amazing. for that moment, i felt absolutely perfect. and right now i'm really happy that i had that moment. my life made sense. everything was right. and it was pretty much the best feeling ever. i had got out of class early so i walked to this spot on a hill and just sat there alone watching the sunset while listening to cocorosie on my ipod. and i'm sitting there and i start thinking about everything and everyone in my life. and then i had a sad nostalgic moment but quickly realized not to be sad about things like that because there are just some things you can't control or change. so then i got up to walk back to my room and i was like, man a cigarette would be fun right now. and literally right after i had that thought a girl stopped in front of me to light one. so i asked her for one and she gave me one, and it was a 27. and in my head i kept getting happier and happier because i was having good luck with this little personal rendezvous. so i walked down a seperate path and sat on a railing facing the trees and ocean and sunset and it was so beautiful. and everything surrounding me was just so close. or something idk. it was just simple and nice to be around. and sitting there smoking the cigarette watching the sunset listening to werewolf i realized how amazing my life is. how amazing it HAS been. how everything that i worry about doesn't even matter because it's so unimportant to be getting worked about. because in reality what matters in life is the people you surround yourself. its how you interact with them and how you show you care. and i feel that i sometimes don't do enough to show the people closest to me just how much they mean to me. but i figured that if they didn't know, they wouldn't be so fucking good to me. and it was like a moment where i was like, shit. i fucking LOVE these people. i almost can't live without them so going home to them is just amazing. i can't say i'm sure how i ended up stumbling across this thought in my head. but it was there and tapping into it made me feel better about myself. maybe it was all the alcohol and drugs i've been doing. maybe it's the fact that i was just home without really knowing i would be home. maybe it's the fact that mayra's pregnant and i think about that a lot and how it's like double love for her now. maybe it's the fact that each time i see samantha i feel more like a sister than just a friend because we're really just THAT close. maybe it's the fact that i have a boyfriend who has been so charming and good to me and i absolutely love him. maybe it's the fact that i live a seperate life from alex but when we're together we still live the same life. maybe it's the fact that the people i didn't think i'd ever be close to i see like little brotherz and best friends. maybe it's the fact that music makes my mind open up. maybe it's the fact that sometimes you just need to sit alone and think. maybe it's everything just coming together tonight at this particular sunset. whatever the reason, in that small space of time, i changed. i felt myself change. i felt myself realize something and i felt it change me. i felt it all at once like a blow to my fucking soul. i'm so complete right now.

ketchup.

catch-up! get it? hahaha tomato! pulp fiction? anyone? yahman.

so i was home this weekend and attended what was theeee most ridiculous party ever. or maybe iii was just really ridiculous? yah i think that's it. homieshit FUCKYESSLA tore my shit up.

let my ramble begin: i got there saturday. i surprised mayra. i picked up some stuff from home. i went to samantha's house. i got ready. i didn't wear a bra and it was so weird. but alex and samantha were like ooohnomnom and shit. lolz. and then we went to cvs where alex bought a bottle of jack daniels and a pack of cigarettes. like true party goers. then we got to the glasshouse where we met up with derek and kyle and smoked a bowl or two. idk but samantha and me were getting impatient and really just wanted to drink so us 2 and alex went back to the car to do that. then we saw a cop pass by so we jumped outta the car like if he had just got there are were gonna smoke a cig. and then we drank more. and then we went inside and i was already drunk so my memories kinda faded in and out at this point. i remember seeing everyone. kyle jenni daniel topher this girl i went to bp with and like 50729052 other people. and i remember going backstage with alex for a quick second but of course there was cesar+alex drama so we left and then...idk. i was basically with samantha the whole night and alex ran off backstage and onstage with karla. so it all worked out rather well. somewhere in that night i went back to the car with sam and derek and kyle a few times and we pretty much finished the bottle of jack daniels. i was borderline belligerent. but i was high so that may have chilled me out. after that...i'm really completely not sure. i just looked at the pictures today and i don't remember any of them. i don't remember how i managed to take so many with so many different people. i don't remember getting into other people's WITH ryan's camera nonetheless. idkidkidk. i had this goal to be trashed and i was SO trashed. i don't remember when we left. i don't remember buying more soda and cigarettes. i don't remember what time we got home. i don't remember how i started drinking MORE once we were home. i don't remember the last drink i took. i don't knowwwwwwww. i woke up drunk for my late breakfast with mayra. she laughed at me. and i don't even know. i use that phrase a lot describing that night. because that's all i can really say.

best night EVER. amirite? yahman.

loves it being logged in

hehehez.
i love you jeanie weenie.